


Trying

by kiexen



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Ace!Crowley, Internalized Acephobia, M/M, he loves Aziraphale and he's trying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-18
Updated: 2019-06-18
Packaged: 2020-05-14 02:58:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19264564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiexen/pseuds/kiexen
Summary: “A-angel.” Crowley gasped and pushed against Aziraphale lightly to get his attention. Aziraphale immediately pulls his head up from where he had been buried in the demon’s neck and shifts so his leg was no longer pressed between Crowley’s, a sheepish look on his face.“I-I’m so, my dear, I got carried away didn’t—”“Ssshut up, no, I just,” Crowley interrupted him and made a small noise, pausing. “M-maybe we should move this… into the bedroom?” He finally said, the color on his face clashing with his hair.





	Trying

**Author's Note:**

> I've uhhhhhhh never wrote any actual smut before. So bear with me, I hope what little of it is described in here is decent. This was going to be full smut but... it took a direction of its own. No beta, and also written way too early in the morning.
> 
> Edit: Listen so many other ace folk telling me they love this is literally the highest praise I could receive on this fic, and it makes my own ace heart soar. Thank you all so much!

“A-angel.” Crowley gasped and pushed against Aziraphale lightly to get his attention. Aziraphale immediately pulls his head up from where he had been buried in the demon’s neck and shifts so his leg was no longer pressed between Crowley’s, a sheepish look on his face.

“I-I’m so, my dear, I got carried away didn’t—”

“Ssshut up, no, I just,” Crowley interrupted him and made a small noise, pausing. “M-maybe we should move this… into the _bedroom_?” He finally said, the color on his face clashing with his hair.

“Are… Are you sure? I don’t want to do anything you aren’t one hundred percent on board with.” Aziraphale said, worrying his bottom lip with his teeth as he looked up at Crowley.

“Yess, I am completely sure.” The angel smiled softly and let out a quiet okay in response before placing a chaste kiss to Crowley’s lips and pulling the taller being away from where Aziraphale had him pinned to the wall.

Following him into the bedroom, Crowley flopped onto the bed, lounging back on his elbows, trying to excrete confidence instead of the anxiety pooling inside him. Aziraphale placed his hands on either side of Crowley’s to hover above him, looking about as nervous as the demon felt.  They never went this far before, due to Crowley’s general aversion to the whole idea, and the angel never pushed him further than he was willing to go, a fact for which Crowley was grateful. He felt bad though, he knew Aziraphale _wanted_ this, he was eternally patient with him, Crowley _wanted_ to give him this, he _wanted_ to give the angel everything he ever desired and more but--

“My dear,” said angel murmured softly, snapping Crowley out of his train of thought. “We don’t have to do this, if you’re not up for it.” Ah, there was that eternal patience again.

Crowley took a deep breath before responding, equally softly, “no, I, I am I just… Got lost in my own head for a second there.” Aziraphale said nothing, just rubbed one of the demon’s hands with his thumb. “I _mean_ it, angel.” Aziraphale only stared into Crowley’s eyes (his glasses had been discarded earlier) for a moment before nodding and leaning down to kiss him. The kiss is slow and sweet at first, but doesn’t take long before it delves back into the hot and heavy pace of before. Aziraphale’s fingers work their way down Crowley’s chest, undoing the buttons of his shirt (both of their jackets had also been discarded previously) as he goes.

The angel is the one to finally break the kiss, trailing softer ones down Crowley’s jaw and onto his neck.  His hands had stilled around the demon’s hips, simply holding him there. Crowley, suddenly realizing he should be doing something too, moves his hands up Aziraphale’s chest before coming to a stop at his bowtie, and attempting to undo it. Eventually, he frustratedly gave up and miracled it untied and pulled it off, earning him a soft snort of amusement from Aziraphale. “Sshut up,” he said quietly, without any venom behind it. He went back to what he was doing, making quick work of the angel’s vest and shirt. At that point, Aziraphale’s own hands went back into motion, starting to undo Crowley’s belt, looking up at him as he did, as if making sure Crowley still wanted this. Crowley’s hands snaked back up into Aziraphale’s hair as he nodded. “Aziraphale?”

“Yes, my dear?”

“Um,” Crowley blushed a few shades darker than he already was, “I-I know I’m Anthony J. “go too fast” Crowley, but, uh, could you…” he joked lightly, in an attempt to cover up his anxiety before trailing off. Aziraphale’s expression softened.

“Of course,” he said, pecking him on the lips. He went back to work removing the demon’s pants before removing his own as well. Aziraphale moved further down and ran his tongue along the underside of Crowley’s shaft before taking the tip into his mouth. Crowley moaned softly and dropped his head back onto the bed. Aziraphale ran his tongue around the head for a few moments before taking him in all the way to the hilt. He came back up and repeated that a few times, Crowley groaning underneath him.  The demon briefly wondered, with a pang of jealously, how many people the angel had done this to before him. Brushing the thought aside, Crowley ran his fingers through his angel’s hair.

Crowley let out a gasp when a cold finger pressed against his entrance. He moaned softly as it pressed inside, looking down to find Aziraphale watching him, as if to gauge his reaction. Crowley broke the eye contact and spread his legs a little wider in invitation, groaning. Aziraphale slowly and carefully started to move his finger, finally pulling his mouth off Crowley to kiss down his thighs gently. After a while, he carefully added another finger, and at that point, what was happening seemed to, very suddenly, catch up with Crowley’s brain. He looked away from Aziraphale, trying to convince himself he’s okay, it’s okay, and failing miserably. _Why_ can’t he just do this one thing for his angel? Why should he be surprised, he’s a _demon_ , of course he’s _broken_ and can’t even _love properly_ , why did he ever think differently?

“Crowley? Crowley, dear, hey, it’s okay.” Crowley’s attention snapped back to Aziraphale, his wide golden eyes looking up to meet blue filled with concern and worry. Aziraphale was sat up now (when did he sit up?) and reached forward to brush the tears off the demon’s face (when did he start crying?).

“I’m, I’m _sorry_ ,” Crowley muttered brokenly and hiccupped. Aziraphale’s face softened again and shifted closer to pull Crowley up into a tight hug.

“No, no don’t, you have absolutely nothing to be sorry for, my dear, it’s okay.” Crowley crumbled into the angel’s arms and clung to him, sobbing quietly.

“I _do_ though, I’m sorry I’m just a demon, I’m _broken_ and can’t give you what you want, you deserve better, you deserve more, you…”

“ _No,_ ” Aziraphale said sharply, pulling back just enough to look the demon in the eyes, a bright intensity lit there. “You are _not broken._ I could not care less if we never have sex, Crowley. Your needs far outweigh any wants I may have.” He stroked Crowley’s cheek with his thumb gently, his expression softening, “I love you, my dear, I don’t want you to force yourself into any situation you’re uncomfortable with on my account, okay?” Crowley’s responding okay was barely above a whisper. Aziraphale held him until he calmed down, rubbing his back softly.

“Thank you,” Crowley said quietly, with a final hiccup.

“Of course, my dear,” Aziraphale pressed a kiss to his cheek. With a wave of his hand, they were both fully clothed again, though this time in pajamas. Carefully, he rearranged them so they were laying down properly. Crowley sniffled and pressed into his angel more, who tightened his grip on him in response. “Sleep, dear, it’s okay.” The demon closed his eyes as Aziraphale started petting his hair softly.

“…I love you too.” Crowley mumbled eventually, before falling asleep, long after Aziraphale thought he was already out. He smiled and pressed a kiss to the top of Crowley’s head.

“I know.”


End file.
